UK demands standardised colours for crisp packets

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How can Britain be expected to deal with anything as a nation when we can’t even sort out what fucking crisp bag colour denotes each flavour?

Crisp bag colours
Walkers, step up and become the leader we need.

It’s the silent, unspoken problem that has plagued Britain for years. Crisps are a staple part of our national diet, found in your local pub to swanky parties (when served on plates) – yet we’re playing Russian roulette when it comes to flavour.

Reddit user vbloke posted his harrowing tale online this week:

“I donated blood yesterday and sat down for my cuppa afterwards. I grabbed a yellow packet of Seabrooks, expecting them to be chicken flavoured, only to find they were cheese and onion. I had to eat the packet out of politeness, but I secretly resented it.

We really need a British Standard on crisp packet colours to avoid this in future.”

He goes on to suggest the following classification of colour / taste:

  • Red: Ready Salted
  • Green: Cheese & Onion
  • Blue: Salt & Vinegar
  • Yellow: Chicken
  • Pink: Prawn Cocktail
  • Pinky Brown: Beef
  • Pinky Beige: Pork
  • Dark Brown: BBQ
  • Purple: Bacon
  • Black: Worcestershire Sauce/Marmite
  • White: Sour Cream & Onion/Chive

However, he touched a nerve when it came to the colouring of Cheese & Onion versus Salt & Vinegar, with staunch support on either side.

To settle the debate, an online poll was started that had over 1,200 respondents.

Crisp packet colour results

Unfortunately, the results are worse than we feared. Almost a direct 50/50 tie on whether salt & vinegar or cheese & onion flavour should be in green bags.

The news is dire – our country and the public are at a loss. At least Amazon will help us cope.

What do you think?

What colour bag should Salt & Vinegar crisps be in?

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The Editor

I wish it was satire.