Stephen Hawking confirmed as Glastonbury act

Professor Stephen Hawking has been confirmed for Kidzfield, Glastonbury appearing alongside Mr Yipadee and his four legged friend Wonky Donkey.

World-revered professor Stephen Hawking, brought into the limelight for his books such as A Brief History of Time and the layman’s A Briefer History of Time, as well as, oh yeah, being one of the greatest scientific minds of our time, will be filling the heads of children with mind-blowing shit this year at Glastonbury.

When reported, usually serious commenters on The Guardian newspaper pried themselves from their Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream machines to make comments such as:

“He’s doing music in the acoustic tent…….Stephen Hawking ‘Unplugged'”
~mooneym

and

“Could he download an autotune patch for his computer and duet with Kanye?”
~SempiSami

If we’ve learnt anything from comics and movies, it’s don’t mock the really smart scientist, that’s how super-villans happen and world-ending death rays get built. Pricks.

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