Google recommends stopping hiccups with rectal massage

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With their latest machine-learning, heuristic classification and knowledge graph scraping technology, Google has decided hiccups are best cured with a rectal massage.

Stop hiccups with Google rectal massage
Well, try anything once I guess.

At the time of writing, if you try searching Google on how to stop hiccups it will suggest:

  1. Drink Water Plugged Ears. Drink an entire glass of water with a straw and block both of your ears, or get a friend to do it while you drink. …
  2. Pull Your Tongue Out. Yes, this may be considered rude to do in public, but pulling out your tongue helps to stop those incessant hiccups. …
  3. Have an Orgasm. …
  4. Get a Rectal Message.

While we salute Google for its stupendous technical achievements, this does provide some comfort that Super AI and Skynet is possibly still more than a year away.

Story tipped via @chrisgedge

The Editor

I wish it was satire.