Decision to award 2018 World Cup to Russia was “fixed”

The head of the FIFA has admitted to a Russian news agency that the decision to award the competition to Russia was made before the vote took place.

"Just take a look at the size of my balls"

“Just take a look at the size of my balls”

In a remarkable – but unsurprising – twist to the scandal of corruption in world football, Sepp Blatter, the president of FIFA, currently serving a 90-day suspension for being, basically, a very wealthy criminal (allegedly). He made comments during a vitriolic interview for Tass, in which he admitted that the 2022 World cup was supposed to go to America, until Qatar paid a lot more money to rig the election Qatar gathered more of the popular vote in a secret ballot.

When questioned as to why the ballot for both the 2018 and 2022 world cups were held simultaneously, Blatter said that “it was agreed inside the group that we go to Russia because it has never been to eastern Europe, and for 2022 we go back to America,” before adding, “And so we would have the World Cup in the two biggest political powers.” Not the nations who love football the most, then, Sepp, but the two biggest political powers. With the biggest bank balances.

Blatter repeated his statement that “England are bad losers” because, despite putting together an excellent program to host the World Cup – at taxpayer’s expense to the tune of £2.5 million according to the BBC – their proposal was not accepted. The problem with this is that nobody can be a “bad loser” if it is otherwise impossible for them to win. Regardless of what a person might actually think about football in general, winning the bid for such a massive global event can reap significant benefits for the host nation. (Unless you’re the England rugby team, that is.)

Blaming pretty much everybody else for his problems, including Michel Platini, the former French player and president of the European Football Associaton (UEFA), Blatter rounded on his long-time friend, who is also suspended after receiving a £1.25 million payment from his old chum for “advice”, saying that his own suspension is “total nonsense” and that he is innocent of all charges.

It’s funny that the rest of the footballing world thinks you’re a reprehensible fucktard, Sepp, but then if you’ve got Vladimir Putin on speed dial, probably you reckon you can get away with pretty much anything.