Woman starts GoFundMe campaign after spending life savings on lottery

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A woman from Tennesse, USA asked the internet for help after spending her entire family’s life savings on Powerball tickets, expecting to win.

Cinammon Nicole
Cinammon Nicole

After seeing the record $1.5Billion Powerball jackpot, Cinammon Nicole did what any well calculating mathematician playing the odds would do. She spent her life savings on Powerball tickets, each buying her a 1 in 292,000,000 chance of winning the jackpot.

Okay, so maybe not the most mathematically sound approach. In fact, according to 3CPO, you’re more likely to successfully navigate an asteroid field almost 4,000 times in a row than win on the Powerball.

never-tell-me-the-odds
“Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one.”

Still, it came as a surprise to Nicole who was “expecting to win” when she in fact, just lost all of her life savings. Realising the internet was now her only hope, she started a GoFundMe campaign with the message:

Please help me and my family as we have exausted all of our funds. We spent all of our money on lottery tickets (expecting to win the 1.5 billion) and are now in dire need of cash. With your small donation of at least $1.00, a like  and one share, I’m certain that we will be able to pick ourselves up from the trenches of this lost and spend another fortune trying to hit it big again! PLEASE, won’t you help a family in need. DONATE NOW.

Astonishingly, some internet citizens did take pity on her and she managed to raise $1,000 before GoFundMe came along and shut down the page because, well, it’s bullshit.

Not that we’re against adults enjoying a bit of gambling, but if you’re expecting to win the Powerball, keep in mind that these are some things that are more likely:

  1. You’re over twice as likely to be killed by a vending machine.
  2. You’re almost 300 times as likely to be hit by lighting.
  3. Ten times more likely to die in an accident involving a balloon.

Food for thought, at least.

The Editor

I wish it was satire.