Research shows that old people hate change

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A YouGov poll shows that almost half of all adults think that society is changing “too fast”, while youngsters think “it’s not happening fast enough”.

old-people-hate-change
“I keep my phone numbers in this separate notepad”

There are few experiences that grind the teeth more than watching your average, retired baby-boomer handling an iPhone 6. Holding the technology at arm’s length, peering over reading glasses with index finger out-stretched and ready, you’re just never quite sure when to interject with some helpful, unsolicited advice. The frustration is palpable as the technology denies their attempts at control and soft screen taps become aggressive stabs and elongated pushes in a futile attempt to coerce compliance. They’re angry.

They’re also not alone. 2,198 people were questioned in the poll, which was carried out by YouGov for the Arts & Humanities Research Council (AHRC). The results showed that 46% of adults are ‘alarmed’ by the speed of change of society, saying it is happening too fast. Abiding to the stereotype, an overwhelming 78% of respondents aged 18-24 stated that change was not happening fast enough – clearly, old people fucking hate change.

Topping the list of things to dread and fear were:

#1 Technology (61%)
To be fair, with age comes wisdom. Perhaps people have just had enough of technology being abused by governments? The reality is most of us have no clue how any of this shit works, anyway.

#2 Population and migration (56%)
Social media is the perfect conduit for sharing bullshit. Over half the respondents cited that population and migration were some of the most important and worried about changes in the last 50 years.

#3 People’s ‘general behaviour’ (46%)
This could mean ‘things aren’t like the good old days’ or it could be that we’ve raised a generation that tries to sue 8-year-old children, gold plate their testicles, buy coke for their kid’s birthday,  sell babies in the street and will happily pay £5 for bottled water with asparagus in it. There’s a broad spectrum of critical angle to take.

Director of the new Newcastle University Humanities Research Institute (NUHRI), Professor Matthew Grenby, give this insight: “Change is happening too fast for some, not fast enough for others. It’s what we want but also what we fear.”

There you have it. Change is scary, but as long as it allows me to press my finger a few times on a screen and have a pizza delivered to my current location while I scroll through Netflix suggestions for 50 minutes before deciding what to watch, I’m okay with it.

 

The Editor

I wish it was satire.