Poo done it? Soiled pants riddle as man acquitted

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A man accused of crapping himself during a break-in at a coffee shop was found not guilty, despite his soiled underwear being found at the scene. So the question is: poo done it?

Police investigating the break-in found the dirty pants in the shop’s office, as well as papers which had been used as toilet roll.

And although DNA tests on the underpants proved they belonged to Welsey Matthew King, he was released by the court because a second DNA sample was spotted, and the judge could not rule out the possibility someone else had been wearing King’s dirty cacks.

Around $4,000 cash, an iPod and car keys were stolen from the office safe in the cafe in Canberra, Australia in late 2104, and King was charged with four counts of burglary-related offences.

poo done itLegal briefs: soiled underwear crime mystery

But in her judgment, ACT Supreme Court Judge Chief Justice Helen Murrell said: “I am not satisfied that guilt is the only available rational inference.

“There is, for example, a reasonable – albeit small – possibility that the burglar was someone else who was wearing unwashed underpants that had previously been worn by the accused.”

She found King not guilty of all charges.

The Editor

I wish it was satire.