Doctors get hands dirty with new ass robot

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‘Patrick’ is a sophisticated robot that gives real-time feedback to doctors training to stick their hands up peoples’ bums.

Patrick the ass robot
Dr. Amir levelling up his one-handed skill

Designed to give both professional and personal feedback, Dr. Benjamin Lok, the programmer behind Patrick said “This virtual human patient can talk to the learner, expressing fears and concerns about the prostate exam, and presents a realistic patient encounter”.

Patrick is also equipped with “force sensors” which can alert eager medical students if they being too aggressive or exceeding depth limits.

With over 40,000 cases per year, prostate cancer is the most common cancer for men in the UK. Whilst with correct positioning of mirrors, willpower and an ample supply of oil, self-check is apparently possible, it’s never as reliable as having a professional do it.

Lok explains the difficulty of prostate exams, saying “Students receive minimal practice and interaction in intimate exams due to the high cost for training and high anxiety nature of the exams.”

Anything that can make these exams go smoother first time can’t be a bad thing and quite frankly, we think this technology is ass-tounding.

The Editor

I wish it was satire.