25 Perfectly timed photos just before they got hurt

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We’ve all been there. Something happens and it happens fast and before you know exactly what that thing is, you have just under a second before your body reacts. Fortunately for us, in a world full of mobile cameras, the chance of capturing these priceless images becomes ever more likely. Enjoy.

 

#1 Don’t f*ck with the duck
If there’s one thing that the internet has proved, it’s that animals don’t make the best selfie-partners.

Don't f*ck with the duck
You can guess what happens next

 

#2 Action!
This is Kaija Straumanis. She actually has stuff thrown at her face on purpose. It’s art, you cretin.

Kaija Straumanis
Kaija Straumanis. Taking it in the face.

 

#3 Before becoming a baseball player, invest time learning to catch
People get scared of sharks, terrorism and terrorist sharks. To me, baseball looks more fucking dangerous.

Baseball in face
It’s gonna leave a mark

 

#4 You’re not even safe in the crowd
Seriously, don’t even watch baseball. I don’t know a lot about it, but that ball isn’t stationary, it’s travelling really fast, it’s really hard. Just look at that terror on their faces. That beautiful, terror.

Baseball crowd about to be hit
Every one of these faces deserves a caption.

 

#5 Especially don’t trust children with baseballs
This is what I can only assume is the beach baseball version of the Blair Witch Project and this is what was left on the camera. It’s not known whether camera/parent/abductor survived.

Kid throwing baseball at camera
Probably on purpose. Kids. Little shits..

 

#6 Lightweight bikes also have their cons
This is Kelly McGarry overshooting a jump during practise for a Red Bull event. The photo demonstrates the outcome of a bunch of Newtonian physics calculations I’ll never understand properly. Notice how his left wrist curls in naturally to allow him to gracefully move into the break fall to avoid injury.

Kelly Mcgarry overshooting the landing in redbull rampage
The wheels on the bike go round and oh.

 

#7 If you bike in hotpants, you get what you get
Just look at this guy. No, not the one standing bolt upright posing for that ultimate holiday by the side of the road, the cyclist. If you can call him that. Somewhere between deciding it was a good idea to commute by bike today and yes, it’s sunny – definitely the right day to break out those cut-off jean hot pants with work shoes look, he forgot how to people. I’m not even sure how it’s possible to get yourself in exactly this position, but aside from the lamp post, that is some nasty crotch to handlebars meet.

Bicycle into lamp post
WHO WEARS SHORT-SHORTS? I WEAR SHORT-SHORTS.

 

#8 Even the pros can’t get it right
Look at this guy. He looks like a fucking spartan. This only adds to the evidence that biking is for pussys. The puny bike as literally fallen to pieces in his man hands.

Bike falling to pieces in hands
You don’t want to see me when I’m angry.

 

#9 If you’re still not convinced biking is a shit idea
Well…

Bike wheel fail
“Shit.”

 

#10 Really, animals don’t give a shit if you want a photo with them
The moment of betrayal. Look into his eyes. He knows what he’s doing.

Bitten by guinea pig
Thug life.

 

#11 Bill Clinton, taking one for the team
Even the greats have the odd stain on their record.

Bill Clinton taking football to face
I would like to state, I did not have catching relations, with that ball.

 

#12 A proud father looks on
It was at this moment, Jimmy decided to quit the pre-game hotboxes with friends

Kid falling over on baseball pitch
Dude, the grass. It’s so.. Grass.

 

#13 Little to the left, back a bit. Okay mate, smile.
This just looks like someone wanted to get that picture where your face reverberates and you look 120 years old. Who even wears collars when they play football?

Football in the face
“Honestly, he’ll find it funny. When I get my camera up, kick the ball at his head”

 

#14 Desert Eagle. Point five oh.
Turns out the Call of Duty did not prepare Kelvin to taking some hot casings to the facings. Seriously, they’re really hot.

Bullet case hitting face
LOL HEADSHOT.

 

#15 Goonies never die
I can only assume this was a university endorsed doppler effect experiment.

Gut slap wave
Thanks, Christian.

 

#16 Let it snow
“WANT TO TAKE PART IN THE SNOWBALL FIGHT?”

Snowball to face
“N..”

 

#17 Old school cool
Our favourite. A lady in London handbagging a neo-nazi on a march. Fuck ’em.

Hitting neo nazi with handbag
It’s possibly that teacher from Matilda.

 

#18 Horses. Dangerous
It’s unconfirmed whether or not this horse is bucking and is about to hit this girl in the face, or whether it is actually an ordained minister of the church and is blessing her.

Horse kicking girl in face
In the name of the father, the son and the holy horse.

 

#19 Pretty fly for a white guy
You can’t help but like this one. He’s that smug guy that’s too cool to get in the pool.

Hit in face with football in swimming pool
So my Dad’s pool is just..

#20 White water rafting / Wipeout
Either this man is doing the most stylish entry into a raft ever, or he’s about to appreciate the importance of good head protection.

Man bounced out of raft
“SOMEBODY CHECK THE WORDING ON MY TRAVEL INSURANCE”

 

#21 Motor bicycle.. Motor unicycle.
The blackened visor hides the expression of “hah, the guy behind me has just lost a wheel”.

Motorcycle loses wheel
Wrong button.

 

#22 Travelling downstream
This picture looks as if lady and her dog have already given up and written off the lady in the salmon pink top, who appears to be trying to behave like a salmon, travelling downstream.

Slipping in river
Must.. Fertalise….. Eggs.

 

#23 It’s cool, she’s fine.
This photo captures the moment a male realises he is definitely not getting laid, despite being “fun” and will desperately try and laugh off her resulting pain.

Girl faceplants
Well, fuck. Better try for Jenny instead.

 

#24 Swings, they’re not meant for adults.
This photo pinpoints the precise moment this healthily weighted girl developed a complex about her weight for the rest of her life.

Girl breaks swing
Either that, or by the smile her friend sabotaged the rope.

 

#25 Much honour
This is actually a rare colour photo of the very secretive WW2 Japanese kamikaze bikers. While renowned for their bravery in battle, they were decommissioned early in their life due to them not actually doing that much damage.

Kamikaze biker
Seriously. Fuck bikes.

The Editor

I wish it was satire.